Holiday Books and Resources
To Get Your Twentysomething Thinking (Differently) and More
Last week during our Ask Meg Anything session, there were a few common themes:
What if my twentysomething is having trouble making friends?
What if my twentysomething has a career I don’t like?
What if my twentysomething won’t listen to good advice (from me) about friends and careers and more?
Fortunately, the holidays are a great time to give twentysomethings books or audiobooks that might get them thinking (differently) and more. In this public post, I suggest a few I recommend to my clients and kids.
I welcome your recommendations, you may be thinking, but how do I get my twentysomething to read or listen?
Some parents wait for their kids to read or listen when they’re ready. Others ask their kids to read a book as a holiday gift for the parent in return. Still others offer some sum of holiday money if the book is read and discussed (on a dog walk or over a fun dinner). You know your twentysomething, so trust your instincts about which book or resource to choose, and how to give the gift of thinking and living differently.
This classic by Carol Dweck is about the importance of having a growth mindset (I can get better at this) versus a fixed mindset (There’s nothing I can do to improve my life). It’s a good fit for people who are psychologically curious and who are actively interested in their own success.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck
The most brilliant bait and switch in publishing history, this title appeals to twentysomethings who may be “too cool” to listen to good advice. The thing is, this book is full of it and is a growth mindset book in disguise. With his no-bullsh*t way of communicating, Mark Maron urges adults of all ages to care less about what doesn’t matter and face up to what does. Everyone loves this book.
This Herman Hesse classic blew my mind as a twentysomething back in the 90s, so I taught it on a recent voyage of Semester at Sea. My students loved the lessons about self-discovery while, as a parent, I appreciated being reminded that you have to let your kids find their own way. Knowledge can be taught, but wisdom comes from experience. This book appeals to thinkers and philosophical types, and it’s a good read for parents who need to let go.
Everyone has heard of this instant classic by Mel Robbins. If you’re a parent who is having trouble letting your kid make their own choices and even learn from their mistakes, this is the book for you. It’s all about letting go and focusing on what you can change: your own life and your side of the relationship with your kid.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think
This best-seller is a great book for twentysomethings who struggle with self-doubt and overthinking. It helps young adults let go of their self-sabotaging ideas and the negative stories they tell themselves about themselves. It’s a practical, quick read with lots of YouTube videos and online resources for people who like follow-up tools.
This fun, best-selling book by Dan Harris is for any twentysomething who might be interested in mindfulness. I’ve taught this book to college students who loved the tale of how this all-American twentysomething went from panic attacks to meditation. If your kid likes the book, there’s an app and a Substack to help them practice being mindful every day.
For twentysomethings who are still trying to figure out what they should do with their lives, this is the science-backed version of What Color Is Your Parachute. The book comes with a code to take a free aptitude assessment, which I’ve had my clients (and both my twentysomething kids) do. If your kid won’t read a book but will do an online test, you can find that here for $49.
If your twentysomething is having trouble “putting themselves out there,” this best-seller makes thinking about friends interesting and fun. Because it approaches friendship as a science, it’s a self-help book that gives lots of advice about finding friends without making it seem personal.
This best-seller by Susan Cain is a must-read for any introverted twentysomething. It teaches the quiet ones among us to value our strengths while also talking about how to extrovert when needed at work and in life. Every introvert will love this book, and the parents of introverts should read it too.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook
If your twentysomething is struggling with their mental health and/or with managing their emotions—and they like concrete approaches—this workbook is for them. Although the approach was designed for “borderline personality disorder,” ignore that very problematic label. Every twentysomething needs the skills in this book, and I’ve been using it with clients for twenty years.
This is a handout, not a book, but it’s a good, free exercise to do together as a family. If we think our kids need to be more active and intentional about connecting, maybe we make this a family challenge over the holidays. Chances are, we could all benefit from making more of an effort with our kids, spouses, friends, and extended family. Walk the talk!
How to Befriend
As promised on our Ask Meg Anything session, here is a chapter about friends from my book, The Twentysomething Treatment. It’s about a twentysomething who clings to her family and struggles to have friends….until she gets that “befriending” is a verb and something she’ll need to make some effort to do. A 10-page, quick read you can email your twentysomething.
Happy Reading, Listening, Connecting, and Holidays!