Cell Phone Norms for Twentysomethings

(And Their Parents)

When I was in my twenties, I communicated with my family about once a week. Cell phones weren’t a thing yet, of course, and/or long-distance plans were limited and expensive. Times have changed, of course, and now it’s possible to be in contact with our kids anywhere, anytime, any day. That shift has upsides and downsides.

Also known as “electronic umbilical cords,” cell phones help twentysomethings feel more connected to their parents (which is good) but they also interfere with their independence (which is not good). Not surprisingly, for young adults, relationship satisfaction is related to cell phone satisfaction or how cell phones are used to balance both connection and independence.

So, below are some norms for greater relationship and cell phone satisfaction for everyone. I don’t want to call them rules because then you’ve set yourself up for what happens each time the rules are broken–by one side or the other–which they will inevitably be. Think of them more as expectations that everyone strives to meet.

It may interest you to know that these norms for parents were derived from research about happy, healthy cell phone contact between twentysomething romantic partners. So, when you follow these norms within your family, you’re helping your child become a better partner and friend.